


Complete

by Maria1980



Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: Emotions, F/M, Love, Tenderness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-26 09:21:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30103758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maria1980/pseuds/Maria1980
Summary: Hello my dear people. As a way of distraction, for my very tormented mind this week, I decided to write this one-shot. The idea for it came to me, when I was trying to fall asleep yesterday (as it usually happens). This has no real plot, just something that went through my mind.Few thoughts of Elsie Hughes (Carson) regarding her life and her most private feelings.Hope you will like it. BTW-this is the 40th story that I wrote, so my little, private jubilee ;-) Hope you will like it.Legal note: Neither Charles, nor Elsie belong to me, but I can make a better use of their characters than their legal owner.
Relationships: Charles Carson/Elsie Hughes
Kudos: 2





	Complete

When Elsie Hughes woke up in Charles's arms, her most favorite thing to do, besides actually being in his arms, was to reflect on how her life has changed ever since they got married. There was no doubt about it. Her life really did change. On every possible level. As she watched a peacefully sleeping form of her husband and as she listened to his snoring, which really didn't bother her almost at all at this point, as she cuddled to his strong and solid body, she couldn't help but wonder, how this man changed her life completely when he decided to propose, after so many years of waiting and holding back. 

Ever since her early childhood, Elsie was being brought up, believing that the world and people surrounding her, are one, big, huge, overwhelming strictness. Her father and her mother were an essence of strictness and an epitomy of living in the Victorian spirit of times-for them living on this earth meant few things- hard work, severe sense of morality and most of all, avoiding all nonsenses like tenderness and warm emotions towards their children. Elsie never knew and would never expect any signs of love from her parents. She was lucky enough when rarely they showed her in any way that they were proud of her, which almost never happened, because her father never hesitated to remind her, that she was not the first-born son that he expected, but a daughter and in Victorian times, being a woman meant being second best. Her mother also didn't wear her heart on the sleeve and she was totally obeyed to her husband, so she limited herself to taught her eldest daughter all the things she needed to know and nothing else. 

Elsie always knew that she had to be the wise one, the strong one and the sensible one. Especially ever since her younger sister turned out to be “not right in the head”. It imposed an extra duties on Elsie. Not only she was the eldest daughter, but now, she had to be the caring sister, who had to make sure to keep Becky away from the malicious attacks from other people. It was a heay duty. It would have been a heavy duty even for an adult, let alone for the young girl. There were days, when Elsie felt so helpless, facing the cruelty directed at Becky, that all she wanted to do, was to go home and cry in the arms of her mother, but she knew she couldn't do that. It would not be acceptable and she probably would have been scolded for being sentimental.

When her father died and Elsie had to take care of her mother and her sister well being, she decided to get into service and what she had to faced there, was very similar to her situation in the family home that she grew up in. Hard work, severe morality, no showing of emotions, not to mention that she was encircled by strange people. Living in her family house was similar, but at least she was among the people she knew all her life. Here, in her workplace, it was different. Elsie was fully aware that nobody will refer to her with warm feelings. She was there to work and her work was evaluated. She learnt how to keep her feelings in control and she mastered this to perfection. Even though with time, she has bonded with some of her work collegues, it was more the mutual sympathy, rather than friendship. In her world and in her reality, there was no place for friendship, let alone love. 

Even though she was brought up the way she was, Elsie always felt, that there was something deep inside her, that didn't agree with the role that she was imposed. There were feelings inside her, deep feelings, warm feelings, feelings that didn't let her fall asleep at night, feelings that brought her to tears, when she saw happy families showing love to one another. Her lifestyle didn't leave her much time for thinking about what she missed in life, however she knew, that she was missing something. And that something was love. She needed love and sometimes she wanted to scream to the world that she is not the woman that everyone think she is. She is not the strict housekeeper, who only cares about rules and hard work. She was a human being too. A woman whose heart was hurting, because starting from an early childhood, nobody let her showed those feelings.

As she aged, she slowly lost hope that she would ever be able to show those feelings to anyone. As close as she could get, was to help her younger colleagues with their life turbulences, to have a warm relation with the cheeky, red-head cook and most of all, to take care of her beloved man, that she secretly loved for many years-Charles Carson.

Ever since she could remember, she always took care of him, more than she realized and definitely more than she let him realized that. But after a longer while, he finally realized that and he understood, that he couldn't live without her by his side, which resulted in asking her to marry him.  
From that moment everything has changed for Elsie... Suddenly, she was finally permitted to enter the world of feelings, emotions..Charles might have been a stuck up butler in the Abbey and he really was, but when they were alone, together, he has changed into a most loving husband, that she could asked for. 

Finally, after many years of waiting, of holding her emotions and needs, deeply hidden for the world, she could express them, because he wanted it. He needed it from her and he was not afraid to show it to her. Very often, Elsie was wondering, if Charles was the same man. Sometimes it seemed like there were two Charles's-one, the very official Charles, who did his best every day, to serve the family that he was so commited to and second Charles-her dear, sweet husband, who made sure that she had everything she need. She liked to call him Charlie. It helped her to divide those two sides of his personality-the official one, from the one that was reserved just for her. He was Charles in the Abbey and Charlie in their cottage.

In the beginning she was dreading of marriage and now she knew that it was unecessary. For the first time in her life, Elsie felt that she was truly loved by someone, loved so much, as she never was before. Charles was so tender towards her, so attentive, even when he touched her, everytime it felt like she was the most precious person for him. The way he looked at her, with those trusting, brown eyes-she felt like the mose beautiful woman on the planet, when he looked at her that way...When he kissed her, her soul seemed to be flying to heaven, as each of his kisses, regardless if this was a gentle, sweet kiss in the beginning of the day or full of lust at night, when they made love, was done with such an enormous doze of affection. All her life, Elsie was deprived of kisses. Her parents didn't kiss her, she didn't have many friends, so friendly kisses were also excluded, she never had a man in her life before, so she never knew those kind of kisses too. 

Now, she had a feeling, that she was rewarded for all those years of waiting for tenderness. Elsie discovered that now, when they were married, she was waiting imaptiently for the end of the day, for the moment that they will be all alone together in the cottage. Where they could be free and where they could show themselves their love, without any limits. If anyone from their colleagues would see them, they would have a hard time believing, that those two most severe people in the house, could turn into such a loving couple. They both were deprived of warm feelings for the most of their life, but the fact that they were deprived of it, didn't mean that they didn't need it. On the contrary, they needed it a lot....

Elsie discovered, that there was no better place in this world than the loving arms of her husband, the way he wrapped his arms around her protectively, the way he gently kissed her temples, the things he whispered into her ear in their most intimate moments. She wanted those moments to never end. She wanted to take all the things that she didn't have all her life.. She felt his enormous love in every second and she reciprocated this love to him fully. When they were together, all she wanted to do, was to be close to him, all the time and he had nothing against that..He wanted and needed this as much as she did. Their marital bed was a place when they expressed their love freely.. With time, Elsie lost all her initial inhibitations and she felt totally adored and cosseted by Charles..Her body belonged to him now and his body belonged to her and there was nothing, absolutely nothing forbiden between during their love-making.

Whenever she was lying in his arms, she thought that for the first time in her life, she was truly warmed. Ever since she could remember, she was always the one who was perpetually cold. Now, she wondered, if this had anything to do with the fact, that she never knew love, at least love of that kind... The way Charles loved her made her feel warm and when she nestled into him, she didn't need anything more from life...Just to be in his lvong arms...Preferably all the time...

Of course their marriage life was not ideal, difficult moments happened and she had to rolled her eyes for his curmudgeon behavior at times, like with her cooking, but very soon, as soon as he found out, that Elsie is handled best, when she feels love and spoiled, instead of being scolded, he gradually loose those nasty habits of instructing her..

She loved to fall asleep in his arms, all her troubles with sleep, that she was contend with all her life, were now gone, but that was probably because she felt so safe, so secure. That difficult to handle, sometimes infuriating man, that stick in the mud, that stiff butler gave her so much. He gave her home, financial security and as much love as he had in him...So when she was putting her head on his chest at night, breathing in his scent, touching the strong muscles of his forearm, with one of her hands, inserting her leg between his, whilst her other hand was either stroking his belly or the side of his face, she felt complete...As she received all those things from him, that she was missing all her life and that only he could give her- love, tenderness, passion, for the very first time in her life, she knew that nothing was missing. She was complete...

**Author's Note:**

> That would be all for today...As I mentioned above, no real plot, just a a little, silly fluff, that came to my mind yesterday night...Elsie is complete, who wouldn't be having Charles Carson in her arms? I know, I would ; -) But since that will never happen, I will just stick to my imagination.. Hope that I gave you a momentarily get away from reality, because I certainly gave it to myself...And I really needed that. Stay safe everyone and see you soon!


End file.
